


Gratitude

by TheBigLoserQueen



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Angst, Beating, Blood, Hurt No Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Mild Smut, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Torture, Past Violence, Reflection, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 14:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4524726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBigLoserQueen/pseuds/TheBigLoserQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starscream can only suffer while Skyfire remains grateful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gratitude

Starscream laid there on the floor, his wings scarred and broken, his frame filled with dents and deep cuts, and his face covered in wounds. It wasn't uncommon for the tyrant to punish his SIC, but this punishment had been one of the worse the seeker had gone through. Yet, he knew this would happen if he did what he had done. He more or less regretted doing it, his processor calling him a moron and a simpleton while his spark told him the pain would pass, just like the pain always did, and that he did the right thing. Still, what had he done to deserve such a punishment, such a tortuous and painful sentence?   
  
Oh that's right. He had aided that stupid Autobot.  
  
He had found him during his portal that night. The mech had been severely injured, and normally, Starscream would've left any Autobot for dead, but this mech was different. Even though he wanted to leave, old memories and feelings made him stay. Skyfire had once been his friend, his lover. Though now he was a traitor and an Autobot, Starscream couldn't abandon him for dead. Not again.  
  
He merely patched the Autobot up as best as he could, nothing more and nothing less. Skyfire tried to make small talk and even tried to get him to leave, though the large white mech didn't want him to go. In the end, Starscream stayed and helped him, even though he knew he shouldn't even have had the urge to. Yet, Skyfire had been his mate once and no matter how much betrayal and pain he felt when the flier joined the Autobots, his memories and old feelings were never forgotten.  
  
They both knew the consequences if any Decepticon had discovered him helping the enemy, but it wasn't death Starscream were worried about. In his faction, there were worst fates than death. He had probably experienced some of those said fates before. Skyfire knew this and feared for his friend, his old mate. Yet, the seeker wouldn't leave him until he had fixed his injuries. The entire time, they hardly spoke and merely stared at each other.   
  
When Skyfire was able to stand, Starscream backed away and once again, the two stared at each other in silence. Skyfire's optics were filled with regret and gratitude, but Starscream just stared him blankly. He shouldn't have helped him. He should've left him for dead. Yet, he didn't because of what they had been. Was he still living the past or what? He needed to get over it.  
  
Then, in the blink of an eye as the humans say it, the larger flier seized the sides of him helm, holding him firmly in place before diving down to steal a kiss from him. Starscream promptly froze, along with the world and time. The kiss was gentle, chaste and even when Skyfire cautiously slipping in his glossa, Starscream still did nothing. Memories flowed through his processor and spark, the old feelings of the past running through him uncontrollably as Skyfire's control soon collapse, his glossa now greedily exploring his hot oral cavity.  
  
He should've pushed him away. He should've blasted him away and left him there to get back to his base while he bled it out. He should have done it and he would have done it if it weren't for the fact that his spark had missed this giant flier and the fact he was kissing him back, his servo gripping his shoulders and bringing them closer together.  
  
It became rough as they continued to intertwine and lick each other's glossas, but it wasn't just desire that empowered the aggressive kiss. They had longed for this kind of connection, pride and scars aside. Both of them wanted the other so much, so badly. Skyfire continued to thrust his glossa in and out of the seeker's mouth while the other made sure that their lips never parted, their glossa never not touching.   
  
Starscream said he hated him, that everything that had been between them was over. Skyfire said he accepted that his love for Starscream was unaccepted, no matter what kind of history they shared. What other lies had they shared with others, with each other? Both were traitors to each other's optics, because one had joined the Autobots and the other acted as though the love they had was nothing. Yet, both of them wanted – needed – each other. The past may have been the past, but they had been friends, been mates, been lovers. Their sparks weren't like the rest of their programming. They couldn't just stop loving each other on command.  
  
One of Skyfire's servos went down to his chassis and the other went to his wings, caressing them gently as he continued to kiss him. The seeker began to moan a bit, his wings being the most sensitive part of his body. He bucked up against him, as though he were encouraging the Autobot to do more to him, just like he used to do. Skyfire was more than willing to oblige.  
  
Something in Starscream's processor finally clicked and he realized what he was doing. His optics shot open and he slammed his servos on his, pushing away from him and out of his grip. A small pain shot through Skyfire's body and he hissed a bit as Starscream backed away from him, seemingly horrified with himself. The two stared at each other for a moment, one angry and confused and the other just shocked. Then the Autobot took a step forward.  
  
In a flash, Starscream held up his weapons and pointed at him with the full intent to fire if he took another step. Skyfire looked at the guns and then back at Starscream's confused, angry, and hurt expression. He just shook his helm and gave a small, sad smile.  
  
"Thank you," he said.   
  
Then he turned away from him, transforming and taking off toward the Autobot base, leaving the Decepticon alone and stunned.  
  
What did the white mech mean by his thanks? Did he mean thanks for helping him? Did he mean it for the kiss? Did he mean it for both? The seeker wasn't sure. He gritted his dentals together and shook his helm angrily. Damn it. Why was his old lover an Autobot? Why didn't he go back to the Decepticons, back to his arms? He wanted to hate him, hate him with entire being, but his spark wouldn't permit it. He loved Skyfire, even though he wished he didn't anymore.   
  
When he returned to his own base, Megatron had found out about his encounter somehow and Starscream was unsurprised that he had to be punished. It didn't mean it made it hurt less.   
  
His leader had beaten him to the point of death, yelling horrible things at him, telling him how stupid and unreliable he was to the Decepticon cause because of his feelings for that stupid traitor, telling him how the white mech left because he couldn't stand being with an idiot like him; he was wasting his time chasing after things he didn't need and couldn't have. Starscream just screamed and begged for mercy at the hand of his leader's rage, wanting it all to end, more so the violent and ugly words than the strikes and blows to his body.   
  
As he laid in a pool of of his own blood, he thought about what he had done. Did he regret helping him? At the moment, his body and processor did, but his spark kept telling no. No, he did not regret his encounter with the Autobot. He had done the right thing, though it did result in another brutal beating. Yet, Skyfire was alive because of him. Had it been any other Con that found him, the flier might have been killed. The very thought made Starscream shudder.   
  
Still, he couldn't help but to be angry. Skyfire was always causing him pain, whether it was physical or mental anguish. He had been the reason for this beating; it wasn't the first time Megatron had hurt him over Skyfire. Besides that, the mech betrayed him; he hurt him so badly that he had barely been able to get over it, masking his pain with rage and hate.   
  
Starscream remembered when the white mech had thanked him, and he was suddenly grateful that he had said nothing back. Skyfire may have been thankful to him for whatever reason, but Starscream wasn't. He wasn't gratified in the slightest, not from all the pain he had caused him.   
  
Damn that stupid flier and what he had done to him, had caused him. He hurt him, yet he was still so in love with him. How much of his pride and his being had suffered from him? Damn it all. He just wanted to hate that mech so badly, but he couldn't.  
  
He loved him.


End file.
